Mending the Blur (a Forever & Always novel) Page 5

  Sitting up, I click on the bedside light and see the notebook again. It’s begging me to open it, yet I feel as if that is a complete invasion of space. It’s bad enough I just searched his room, but that’s what best friends do; they help you even when you don’t want it. He should have known better— that if he left, I’d do this. I mean, I did the same damn thing the time he found out about his mom having cancer at the start of junior year. He thanked me then… he will eventually thank me for this.

  Picking up the notebook, I thumb the edge, feeling the sheets grace my finger. Holy shit, I mutter to myself as my phone goes off and my heart begins to race.

  Bray – I’m so very sorry, Ads, please never forget that. I love you.

  Me – Braydon, stop, you need to grieve, you need to talk to someone. I’m here, Zoi is here, we can find someone. Just come home…

  Bray – I’m not going to be home for a few days, I don’t think. I’m sorry, Adalyn. I love you.

  Me – I’m so confused, call me.

  What the hell, no response. Why is he sorry? Ugh he makes me nuts! Dropping the phone into my lap as I fall back onto his bed, I groan inwardly at the sound of a knock on the bedroom door.

  “Adalyn, sweetheart?” Zoila calls into the room before making her way in. “I’m supposed to take you over to the hotel. Mr. Gibson said something about bailing his kid out and Chase going to the hospital. It was all very hectic.”

  “What?” I ask, sitting up. Clearly I’ve missed something. Placing the notebook and envelope in Braydon’s nightstand drawer where I am certain he’ll find them. “I’m so confused.” I yawn, standing up. “What happened?”

  “There was an accident, I don’t know much else. My sweet Braydon was a mess and in a mess too,” Zoila says while shaking her head. “All he said before Mr. Gibson snatched the phone away was that there was an accident, and both the other driver and Keelie had been taken to the hospital. He also said to tell you sorry and for you to remember you always know the real truth. That boy cares about you, Ms. Adalyn. Please don’t give up on him. I can see it between you two. I can see it in how you look at him; don’t let go of your love,” she says before looking over to the dresser where I’d lined up all the emptied bottles.

  “I won’t, he’s my best friend. I do love him, and he’s an amazing person,” I promise as I grab my phone and follow her out of the room, closing the door behind me. “But, Zoila, what I don’t understand is what’s going on.”

  “What do you mean, sweetheart?”

  “Well,” I pause to word my thoughts properly, “Keelie was driving Braydon’s truck when it left the house, and well… well, Braydon has always promised me he’d never drink and drive under any circumstance.”

  “Oh, I don’t know. But, I’m sure you kids will figure it all out.” Zoila smiles sincerely as we drive over to the hotel.

  FEBRUARY CAME AND WENT. I’ve only spoken to Braydon via text and at most that’s been only a handful of times, and it’s been very brief; all I know is that things will be okay… eventually, but he’s got to fix himself before anything else. I agreed and well, that’s the extent of it. A part of me hoped he would come home and finish class or at least get his belongings, but nope, wishful thinking got me nowhere but disappointed and sad. I miss him. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. I wasn’t ready for him to just flatline our relationship… hell, our friendship. But, he did what he thought he needed to do, and he said goodbye.

  “Hey, Adalyn.” Dr. Watret smiles as I walk into the staff lounge. “It’s gonna be a busy day. I hope you’re ready?” I can’t help but laugh. Dr. Watret is the most amazing boss I’ve ever had. She is the head of obstetrics here at the university’s medical center. I’ve been stepping in as the charge nurse and working to become the department manager. It’s a long, hard job, but this is what I love. I live to be at this level of aptitude and skill. It’s why I graduated a semester early.

  “Oh, the busy days are my favorite,” I laugh, pulling my stethoscope around my neck. “They make my days fly by. Gives me less time to think about all that personal life garbage. Fifteen hour days are cake walks.”

  “Oh to have your outlook, and damn your accent is thick today,” she laughs before stepping out of the lounge.

  “I don’t have an accent,” I holler after her and laugh before knocking on the first patient’s room before entering, “you’re just a Yankee!”

  “Good morning, I’m Adalyn. Let’s get this appointment started shall we…” I look down to the file I’m holding containing all the patient’s information then look to the woman on the exam table. Her long fiery red hair is pulled to the side in a braid, her mouth pulled into a grimace, and her belly very much protruding and pregnant. Clearing my throat, I continue, “Keelie.”

  “Well, hey there, stranger.” She smirks before rubbing her belly. “Long time no see.”

  “Yes, it’s been a few months, but I’ve kept track of your records. Mary Beth is unfortunately out ill today, so I apologize for the change in caretaking.”

  “It’s whatever. I just need my five-month checkup complete before I start my drive home tomorrow. This spring semester flew by. My family is throwing me a baby shower. I’m so excited.” She beams and I cringe inwardly.

  “Great, well, your vitals look pretty good for your staging. We’ll do an ultrasound to check out everything internally, and then Dr. Watret will be in.” Nodding at her affirmation that she’s ready, I prep her for the ultrasound. I still can’t get the words out of my head from Braydon’s text. All he wrote was “Keelie says she’s pregnant and I’m the dad. But I’m not, there’s no way. I’m 100 percent certain of it.”

  “Can you see if it’s a boy or girl today?” she asks, her voice as light and airy as all the other patients I visit, except I can’t help but not be happy for her. If this is Braydon’s baby, I’ll be devastated… wait, why would I be devastated… his bed, she lay in it. Ugh snap out of it, Adalyn. “Hello?” Keelie snaps when I don’t respond.

  “Yes, if he or she is in position, I can let you know. Wouldn’t you rather the father be here with you though?” I ask. I’m officially glutton for punishment. I’m a sadist. Sickening.

  “No, he’s not even in Alabama. You know this, Adalyn. You live in his house.”

  “My personal life and whereabouts aren’t up for discussion, and the fact that you know so much creeps me out,” I respond with a plastered smile to my face.

  “He’s going to come down for the baby shower though. My big brother is making certain of it. You remember him from the funeral, right?”

  “Mhmm. That’s great, oh look here is your little… boy.” I force out my fake excitement and hurry through the rest of my processes. Typically, the ultrasound technician would be doing this, but someone had to be an overachiever and well… I take complete care of my patients; it saves a shitload of time. I should just become a doctor… nope scratch that… I need to get the hell out of here. “Congrats again, Keelie, safe travels home.”

  Adalyn

  WHOEVER THE IDIOT THAT said fifteen hour shifts were the best, needs smothered with this pillow! Reaching to my nightstand, my eyes still tightly closed, I silence my alarm but not before my bedroom door smacks against the wall. Rolling over I pry one eye open to see Braxton, his arms crossed over his chest, and a cocky smirk sitting perfectly on his lips.

  “What?” I groan.

  “You really need to figure out that just because it’s your ‘morning’ doesn’t mean you can still be grumpy at five in the evening.”

  “Seriously, go away!”

  “Uh nope, get out of bed. Your alarm has been going off for at least an hour,” he laughs. An hour, dammit – I’m late. Although I’d love to stay in this warm comfy bed, I can’t be late… later than I am. After I throw a pillow at Braxton’s head for good measure, I roll over and head to the bathroom. “Oh, and Addy, most people have a little common courtesy for roommates and don’t traipse around almost naked.”

  “Aren�
�t you moving out soon? Why haven’t you left yet?” I throw back at him before the bathroom door closes. Turning on the shower, I slip out of my thong and into the hot spray. I only catch a sliver of what Brax yells through the door, but honestly it’s probably just some randomness that I can live without.

  Now that summer is over and fall semester is set to kick up in just a couple weeks, we have been busier than a prostitute in her prime. For real though, I’ve seen more vaginas than Hugh Hefner. Before I am even dressed for my night shift on the OB floor, my cell phone goes bonkers. Really? Picking up my phone, I swipe to answer when I see Dr. Watret’s name on the screen.

  “Hello, Adalyn Miller.”

  “You’re so weird, I know who I called,” she laughs before continuing, “I need coffee, the good shit. It’s a freaking zoo in this place. It’s like a full moon and it’s causing babies to shoot out like rockets. We are shoulders deep in placenta.”

  “That’s weird and grossly graphic, but you got it. I’m almost dressed then I’ll be in,” I laugh while pulling up my compression socks and finding a pair of scrubs that match.

  “Babe, you don’t even want to see what’s gone through this department today. See you soon, drive safe… or rather walk.”

  “Don’t be jealous that I can walk to work faster than you can drive there,” I laugh before hanging up. Once I’m ready, I pocket my cell phone, grab my wallet, and stop by the kitchen to make a quick lunch for work.

  “Here you go, Addy.” Braxton smiles handing me a packed lunch box.

  “Um thank you, Brax. I’ll see you tomorrow?” I ask, taking the bag.

  “Yep, I’ll be here until Friday and then back to Minnesota until my next break— also known as graduation.”

  “Awesome! Have a great night and see ya tomorrow.” Quickly exchanging goodbyes, I head out the door and over to the campus Starbucks before crossing the quad and a few parking lots before arriving at work.

  Coffee delivered, stethoscope placed, badge on and it’s go time… literally. Room 492 is eight centimeters dilated and holy balls that momma has some lungs and a sailor’s mouth. I’m convinced that her little girl will speak vulgarity fluently by her second hour in this world. Dr. Watret was not kidding about the abundance of cases in this place. With only three hours left on my shift, I finally find some time to sit down and chart. I really miss the days when we were fully staffed. Two more weeks and our nursing students start back up. I can last two more weeks.

  “Adalyn Miller, please report to the emergency room.” And… there goes my moment of relaxation in charting. Although the new voice-over IP system is more effective— I mean we can carry conversation like a walkie-talkie via the technology built into a necklace-pager; it’s both effective for quick voice contact as well as keeps overhead pages to a minimum— it’s never quiet. Quickly making my way down to the ground level, obviously being paged to emergency is never a good sign.

  “Hey, Anna, what’s up?” I greet and ask the ER charge nurse.

  “Room E twenty-five, distressed, seven centimeters, water broke, some light bleeding and extreme back pain. She’s got her boyfriend with her, and we’ve called her emergency numbers. They are out of state and trying to make it here as soon as possible.”

  “Got it. Timmons, really?” I call behind me after catching her last words of the patient being merely eight months as I make my way into her room. “Good morning, Keelie. We are going to take you up to labor and delivery. We’ll run a few tests and get you settled in to have this little boy real soon, alright?”

  “It hurts so bad,” she cries. When I catch movement out of the side of my eye, I nearly jump out of my skin. “I’m not ready yet; I still have three and a half weeks!”

  “I know, but hang tight; we’ll take good care of you and your little guy,” I offer as I enter in a set of orders before the transportation staff comes into the room. “Keelie, I need to check you out before I have you moved. Can you roll to your back please? And I have to ask if it’s okay if Braxton is in the room for everything going forward.”

  “I’m on the medical release documents, Addy,” Braxton speaks up, his voice laced with worry; further confusing me on why he is even here. But there’s no time to worry about him and why he’s here. Within twenty minutes, I have Keelie moved to the labor and delivery floor, an operating room booked, and Dr. Watret’s assessment in hand. After all her tests come back conclusive, we rush Keelie into an emergency cesarean. I turn to Braxton and he nods. He understands what’s going on; her placenta has separated, and she’s got heavy internal bleeding.

  “Braxton, please update her parents when they call. Our nursing staff will update them as they are able, but you know the restrictions.” Typically, I’d hold back, but I know Keelie outside of the hospital, and even if we aren’t friends, it’s the right thing to do. Zach Braxton has been my friend for over a decade and with her for nearly three years, and he knows her brother. At least they won’t be left alone with worry.

  “I know, Addy, take care of her. Please.” My sweet friend’s face is blanketed with concern, and his voice gravelly.

  I’d like to say I fulfilled his plea and that of our patient’s. But I can’t. Despite the doctors’ best efforts alone and with the support of us nurses, Keelie Timmons passed away at 7:02 a.m., just moments after giving birth to a little boy who weighed seven pounds, six ounces, and measured 19.5 inches long. He’s perfect.

  Adalyn

  IT’S BEEN NEARLY TWO years – one year, eight months, and a few days actually – since that 24-hour chapel was graced with our presence. A little too long ago to hope an annulment would work on a wedding that we all only had pieces of memory to look back on, but rest assured I do remember consummating it. I suppose I didn’t need my memory to provide the flashbacks to the days when life was simple because we opted for the memory photo package. Why I never thought to have my parents open the legal sized envelope that was forwarded to their house when they made mention of it is still beyond me.

  What I do know is that seeing the eyes of my best friend just before he kissed me in the photo definitely validated that he loved me. It’s clear to see; we may have been drinking, but a part of me knows deep down that we knew subconsciously what we were doing. I called Brenton who laughed hysterically for about fifteen minutes after he opened a photo of him and Braxton high-fiving each other as Braydon and I signed the wedding certificate. I’m just tickled pink that someone has found humor in this monstrosity of a life.

  Braydon has messaged me nearly every day with anything from the simplest message of “hi” to messages demanding I talk to him. He’d showed up at the hospital I worked for in Alabama a handful of times, and even made camp at the bungalow I had purchased from Braxton – okay, he sat on the porch for hours, not technically camping out but close enough. Hell, all this was before I even found the damn envelope and opened it to reveal its contents. I’ve yet to tell him. I’ve sworn Brenton to secrecy because I’m trying to adjust to my life here in Columbia.

  It’s taken me a while to realize that life is like the rhythm of one’s heartbeat, and I was nearly flat lining… I needed the blur that had become my life to come back into focus. I may have chosen to befriend Braydon, but I didn’t choose to fall in love with him; no, that was all my heart’s fault. I experienced the heartbreak when Keelie rose naked from his bed, when she’d stated he fathered her unborn child, and when he said goodbye. But more than just the heartbreak of losing the love of my life… I lost my best friend. My momma taught me that you can’t get over something unless you let it go, so while I didn’t choose to love him, I am choosing to let him go. Or… at least that’s what I’m trying to convince my heart we are doing – letting go.

  And within the next 72 hours, he’ll know that too.

  “Thank you, Adalyn, we will be in contact once Mr. Gibson has been served with the petition for divorce.”

  I have exactly two hours before I need to be at the airport to catch my flight to Oklahoma, and it
’s approximately just that to the airport. I should have taken care of this yesterday. I hate being rushed, and at least I did the pre-check with TSA so I can skip the line. Between work and sleep, I’ve barely kept up with Brenton’s games. Watching him play professional basketball games on the DVR just isn’t as exciting as watching them live on television or even in person, those are my favorite. Sitting courtside with Madi, Brenton’s girlfriend, or hanging out in the box seats stuffing ourselves full of junk food and alcoholic beverages.

  Speaking of— or rather thinking of— the devil. A smile dances across my lips as I pull onto the interstate toward St. Louis, and Brenton’s name flashes on my Bluetooth dash display.

  “Hey, hey!” I laugh, “I was just thinking about you…”

  “Oh yeah? Was I naked?”

  “Ew gross! You’re basically my brother, and I love Madi too much to even… wait, GROSS!”

  “Haha,” Brenton laughs before continuing, “listen, I’ve got some friends here for the weekend and they’re coming to the game. I assume they’ll take the courtside seats, but just in case, play nice in the box.”

  “Ugh, dude,” I gripe. Brenton and I have been best friends for over five years. I’m slightly accustomed to getting my way. “I’ve been so excited to sit courtside all week, tell them no.”

  “Y’all can figure it out, are you on the way?”

  “Yep, headed to the airport now, I’ll come straight to the arena. Um…”

  “Out with it, Addy,” Brenton demands at my hesitation.